Date bravely. Date smart.

• Video chat before meeting in person. The reel is a start — a live face confirms it.
• Meet in a public place: a bar, a café, a hotel lobby. Daylight is your friend.
• Tell a friend where you're going, who you're meeting, and when you'll check in.
• Arrive and leave separately until trust is built. Drive yourself or use your own rideshare.
• Keep your phone charged and on you. Share your live location with someone you trust.

Consent is enthusiastic, ongoing, and revocable. "Yes" once is not "yes" forever. If you're not sure, ask. If he's drunk, high, asleep, or pressured, the answer is no — full stop.

• Talk about what you both want — and what you don't — before clothes come off.
• Anyone can change their mind at any time. Respect it the moment it's spoken.
• Power dynamics matter: age gaps, money, housing. Be honest about them.

Knowing your status is sexy. Testing is routine. Treatment works. PrEP and U=U have changed the game — use them.

• Get tested for HIV and STIs every 3 months if you're sexually active with new partners.
• PrEP (HIV pre-exposure prophylaxis) is highly effective. Most insurance covers it.
• Undetectable = Untransmittable (U=U). A person with HIV on treatment with an undetectable viral load cannot transmit HIV sexually.
• Condoms still prevent most STIs. Keep some on hand.
• Aging bodies change. Talk to your doctor about ED meds, lubricants, and any interactions with heart or blood-pressure medication.

Men over 55 are the #1 target for romance scams. Stay sharp:

• Never send money. Not for a plane ticket, not for a medical emergency, not for "customs fees." Not ever, to someone you haven't met in person.
• Reverse-image search profile photos if something feels off.
• Watch for: refusal to video chat, instant declarations of love, urgent crises, requests to move off-platform fast, broken English from someone claiming to be local.
• Crypto, gift cards, and wire transfers are scam currency. Block and report.
• Report any suspicious profile inside NOT DONE! — we investigate every report.

• Don't share your home address, workplace, or last name until you trust someone.
• Use the in-app messaging until you're sure. Once you hand out a number, it's out there.
• Posts vanish in 48 hours — but assume anyone could screenshot. Don't post anything you wouldn't want a stranger to keep.
• You control your reel, your tribe, and your visibility. Adjust anytime in your profile.
• Blocked users can't see you, message you, or find you in the grid.

If you're in crisis or in danger, please reach out. You are not alone.

If a member is acting inappropriately — pressuring, harassing, soliciting money, sending unwanted content, or appears to be underage — report them. We review every report and remove members who break community standards.

Tap the profile, hit report, tell us what happened. You can also email safety@notdone.space.